Heading into October Season

Yes that's right my little Spudguns, we are on the eve of October.  Remember, in Thunder Bay; October is a season all it's own.
Canada has Thanksgiving (Columbus Day in the U.S.) before Hallowe'en, which means we get two lovely fall holidays two weeks apart.  I'm grooving on that.
And since it's October eve,  I started to put the list together for the countdown to Hallowe'en posts I want to do for this here bloggy-blog.  I have a few ready (okay so the first few are a few reposts from my old vampire blog but I do have a full 31 days to fill)

Anyways, I was reading a few wrestling fan site thingies (which is bad for my ego)  and was thinking.  I'm not the only one who is feeling less then impressed right now with the storylines being given by the two major companies.

And this all means what?

Alot of busy nothings.  Hopefully some of them will be funny enough to make you laugh out loud, and .... I think you should remember that in every Dracula movie he always finds a way to come back for a sequel... {that would be a clue to something}

Photo by ME hcvp' 2010

I just can not keep everything straight right now

I am one of those people who still use a paper dayplanner. Yes, I still carry an actual book form dayplanner in my purse. Let's face it most women do have a traditional dayplanner/calendar cause we need to keep track of our last period. Make sure it shows up when it's suppose to... are my male Spudguns making faces and fidgeting in their seats yet....

Normally, my dayplanner stays slightly empty, except for the obvious above mentioned and a few doctor's appointments. Just when you thought I had admitted everything you learn something else about me you never thought you would ever want to know. Cause my life is so overmuch with activities as you know... that was dripping with sarcasm in case you are not awake at 8:22 am on this freezing chilled Thursday morning on the last day of September.... I haven't had coffee yet and I'm just filling space with the sound of my own voice as I read out what I am typing... BUT this year my little black book (actually it's navy blue but that just doesn't have the same ring to is) is filled with stuff. Dates and titles of books for review and publishing dates and deadlines for the reviews to be posted.
Not too mention the stuff centered around the wellness group/Intenders group that I am sort of part of now... sort of on the edges of maybe.

And of course the normal doctors appointments for both mother and myself. Of which she has one today. She is going to Dr. S. for a round of whatever he needs to do to say that "yes you are healthy enough to go back into surgery" of which she will then go next week for surgery.

And why am I rambling on like this at this hour? Another book came. One I was not aware I was suppose to be getting for review. Must be a new intern working the office. Not only do I normally get a heads up on what will be sent to me from the press agent, I usually get a handwritten thank you and reminder of when the review is to be done for.
This time, a book showed up by itself in a white packaged bubblewrap bag. At lest this one has a stamp on the cover for 2011 release date.

Coffee now.
MORNING!!!!

Vampire break- Scars of Dracula

And the Chris Sabin fans are screaming

I used screen capture for this post

I just logged into my old blog (Andrew and the Aluminumsidings)  for the hell of it.  Hadn't been in there in months, and guess what... my hits tracker was over run with hundreds and I do mean hundreds of fans looking for the same old thing.... Chris Sabin hair, what does chris sabin use in his hair, sabin haircut 

Wow! did I create monsters with those old posts?
 No I don't think so, just an outlet for those already engrossed with the Hair Gel King to do whatever it is they do... and I don't think I want to know what they do.

Okay so for those Sabin fans who googled and landed on my old blog and this blog for that matter -googling about his hair and the couple who actually left a comment (sorry it ended up in spam filter and I thought I would let it stay there cause ... well I could get a post out of it- ) Yes the boy did cut his hair and no I did not get any screen shots of it... yet. 

This Renfield is trying to behave herself... though I suppose this post proves I have zero will power and am doing a very bad  horrible  unrealistic job of being anything in the sort  that resembles  a good girl (when it comes to blogging you sick sick little Spudguns)...  cause (say it with me now) Sir I Have An Addiction! (which is actually a line from season two of Sex and the City when Carrie goes to L.A. and is smoking in the hotel)

*waves at Mr. Sabin before hiding under the kitchen table*  Dude I just can not do it, I can not act my age at all.  Then again who wants to be my age?  People my age are boring.  Jane Austen would have written me out of the book as her heroines were never over the age of 27  (I think Anne Elliot was her oldest heroine)

Oh what the hell .... screen capture. (Mr. Shelley has already once taken all the fun out of my being immature, let's put it back for one post shall we. Poor sad little medium sized immature me, says I like the haircut!!!!)

And now back to the newly improved boring posts I've been doing as of late which have no style no flair and well no hot men.
I know, I know you're stuck with my boring non-existent life where I talk about the bad health my mother and I are having and the few short stories I've been creating and the other stuff that I am doing.  Yeah this trying to be a grown up sucks a lot.

Do you sell caskets?

I keep getting other people's emails.  Yeah it's a pain in the arse. 
The latest batch have been about coffins.  Yes you read right, coffins.   I used to get stuff like that all the time too when I was doing my horror site.  I would get people looking to advertise their s/m stuff and they would get really pissed off when I would turn them down. 
I ran a horror site, not a goth site.  Take that crap to that vf.

I would love to have a coffin-table myself actually.  I have always loved the shape of the "traditional" edged coffins.  I think having one as a table or a hope-chest would be cool for a themed library/den.
Not sure if I would want a glass one like in Bram Stoker's Dracula or a dark wood one like in Interview with a Vampire  though?

Maybe one of each?  And yes they actually make coffin furniture.

Firth vs Macfadyen

Like many Colin Firth fans, my first intro to him was by way of the 1995 version of Pride and Prejudice as Mr. Darcy, a character he would not only be haunted by, but end up playing twice more.  (Bridget Jones's Diary and BJD Edge of Reason - where he played "Mark Darcy" in the modern remakes)

But it was Matthew Macfadyen in the 2005 version of P&P that sealed it for me.  Yes, I am one of those rare Jane Austen fans who liked the Macfadyen Darcy better.

And my Spudguns are asking where are you going with this today Miss Blood?and when are you bringing back the wrestling stuff?

Well, my faithful readers, my Spudguns, you know I've been hanging around a few new Austen sites, and can't get over the Team Firth  vs Team Macfadyen arguments.  That and whenever I go to mom's, I dig through the boxes of movies I have and take one with me.  I have been trying to get her to sit through even one Jane Austen, and so far the best I got was her sitting at her computer in Facebook glancing in the mirror every ten minutes while Jane Austen Book Club was in the dvd player.  Then out of nowhere asked me if I had any George Clooney movies.   I have one,  From Dusk till Dawn.   Then asked if I had any Brad Pitt (cue the total silence and crickets)  I have one, Interview with a Vampire (mother has never payed attention to the fact I can't stand Brad Pitt)
I do however have a nice selection of Hugh Grant films, (mother can't stand Hugh Grant) and Johnny Depp (mother can take Depp in tiny doses )

So what is it about certain actors that gets this sort of loyalty? 
And why does P&P get all the attention?   They even address it in JABC, where they divide up the books for the book club and P&P gets more air time then the others.  Mr. Darcy was never all that. (okay that's a rant for another time - yes I am Team Sense and Sensibility)

No one will notice

You ever have one of those days where you're irritated but you don't really know why?  Just a feeling you can not pinpoint?

Yeah it's one of those nights. 

I had someone make a comment to me yesterday, about "if you think being just domestic is being damned then you will be" 
What?  You're kidding right?   They were talking about my email address, and have never been to this here bloggy-blog.  

I guess I am just sick of no one frealing getting me.

It's been years since anyone has really gotten me.  Gotten my humour, gotten my creativity, or even the inside jokes/language I use. 

I do not fit into any cute little cookie cutter doughboy cutout. I'm more like the leftover pie crust that falls out of the edge of the pie shell.

The guy who actually gets me will be Such An Addams. A geeky guy with a love for movies that even out shines my own. 

Good God Man It's Too Small

the print in the book

Gotcha you sick sick little gremlins.  The book list for review got shifted around, and the one I am reading now,  which has a mid November release date,  is a 700 pager with print so damned tiny that I'm only on page 74 and I've been reading this for two days already.  Can we say HEADACHE!
It's an editor's copy, so it's uncorrected;  which means,  there are no paragraph changes. 

It's a great story actually, just the damned print is killing my eyes. 

The All Austen Challenge

You all know I love Jane Austen.  Some of you might remember I was part of an all Jane Austen Challenge last year. 
Well, I was thinking of trying to do one myself.  Yes, I am hoping that a few of you Spudguns will join in with me. 
It will start in December of this year (2010) and run till March 2011.  It will be a short challenge.

And for any of the men out there reading,  I still have the open challenge happening over on my other blog.
The idea behind this new All Austen Challenge is to just have fun.

I've actually discovered, since following the AustenAuthors blog, that there are a few men writing Austen sequels.  I would be interested on what a few of my male Spudguns have to think about the new line of male Jane Austen writers. 

Saturday Sept 25th 2010

My short stories.   My short stories were originally written on here because I had joined a writers forum blog/community.  It's since disbanded.
Which sucks as I was finding it useful to write these pieces for the blog.   Not too mention they took up the blog time that I used to use for wrestling posts.  Kept me writing even though I am having issues with my novel. 

My novel.  What started off as a spark year and a half ago, has turned into painful moments. It's frozen in place for the moment,  and I know there is a key to unlocking the progress of the novel... I just haven't figured out what that is yet. 

Still on draft 5.

Lights out in the Library  seems to be getting more hits then anything else.  I'm working on the rest of that in bits and fits.  Any feedback would be great, on any of the shorts.

The electric coffin

You've heard me talking about my O.I. and all the injuries over the decades I've had.  I've been broken and set and rebroken and reset so often I'm like a jigsaw puzzle  and you've heard me in the past elsewhere on my blogs about not liking MRIs. 
So I finally got that long awaited CTscan for my back, after you know months of pain and it finally settling down from- nearly healed actually- that's the one ... upside if you want to call it that of the O.I., you brake like eggshells but you heal at double the time of average humans... - so after like close to 4 months of waiting for this scan to be ordered I went in for it. 
So I called to confirm the appointment and get told on the phone it's been downgraded to just x-rays because I was smart enough to go to emerg myself and get the first round done.  Spiffy.  I get to the x-ray department and the nurse at the desk tells me I am to go all the way to the other end of the floor, and that I am five minutes late. 
No- I argue- my appointment was for 7:45, it's 7:20, I'm early.  She argues that I was suppose to be there at 7:15.  Fine whatever.  Go to the other end of the floor and find myself at the little waiting room that says CTscans and fill out a form this other nurse hands me that says....MRI  at the top of it.  I ask are they the same thing then?   She tells me no, that my appointment is now for an MRI and raises an eyebrow at me.
What? When that happen?  No one told me it got changed again.  I complain cause by this time I was beyond in a fighting mood, and almost ready to just walk away.  The tech comes out and leads me into the change room and asks why I was surprised about it being an MRI?  I explain all this to her and she nods just saying my doctor should have called to let me know.   Um Yeah I'd say so, cause I would have not bothered to confirm it had I known. 
Now, I am not one to be taken in with claustrophobia normally but these MRI machines have embedded it in me in the last while.   Just the MRI machines mind you, I'm good with other small spaces.  But it's like being in an electric coffin with alot of noise and lights.  I just really do not care for them.  Add to it when you have a bad back, laying on the slab is just... painful. 

Well, Now I need to get the cd

I just learned today, that there is a new Twiztid cd.  Dude!
I just heard this song and there is just something familiar about it... took me a bit, had to listen like 5 times to it but, they have a bit that sounds like a sample from Scars of Dracula  in it.  The theme that was used with the character Clove, who was the Renfield in that installment of the Hammer Draculas.   Even the cover to this one just screams RENFIELD!!!

Lights out in the Library (part 2)

The first part of the story can be found here


The phone on Riggs' desk rang giving Hermia something else to do for a moment.  "History Department, Mrs. Lodur." Lyell noticed a look on his brother's face that showed disappointment at hearing her say Mrs "Yes, just a moment."  she handed the receiver out to Riggs moving as far from the statue as she could.  Riggs shook his head laughing at her.

"Yes." the large man said into the beige phone wiping at the corners of his mouth. "I can have that for ya tomorrow morning, will take some time to find it in the stacks." he cradled the phone on his shoulder as he removed the gloves tossing them down on the desk. "Okay, see ya then." he hung up turning to look at Hermia with a deep sigh, rubbing both pale hands over his face. "I think I might have to cancel our dinner plans doll, that new intern of Mr. Moore's is demanding stuff again."  he turned to address both Lyell and Galvin then. "Thinks he's the big bad now that he's running the department right now. Our real boss is off having surgery, won't be back for months."

"Oh, you two are married?" Lyell asked his arms crossed over his chest, casting a sideways glance at his brother, who was very busy wiping an invisible something from the knee of his jeans. "But no wedding rings."

"Yes."  Riggs said at the same time Hermia said "No" Galvin looked up his dark eyes wide waiting for an explanation.

"Legally." Hermia volunteered as she started to shift through the large books on her desk that they had helped her carry. "For another five months anyway."  she blushed wildly, clearing her throat.  Riggs' eyebrows were knitted together in an expression of worry as he scratched at his jaw.

"I'll be in back, looking for his sword." he nodded towards them. "Nice to meet ya both." Turning he walked into the depth of the bookshelves his large shoulders rounded in what could only be considered defeat.
****************

"He obviously loves her." Lyell said wiping a paper napkin over his mouth an hour later. The two brothers were sitting in the coffee shop next door to the university, wrappers from burgers and fries scattered on the two brown plastic trays between them.  He watched Galvin twist and turn in his seat for a few seconds, his jaw in a clench.

"I forgot my bag. My notes are in it. You going wait for me here or what?" Galvin asked tapping the top of the table.

"Where you think you left it?" he pushed up his glasses then stretched. His brother was always forgetting stuff, it was the whole reason he had bought him a new messengers bag.

"Either the library or the basement."

"You just want to go back and see Hermia again. Mrs Lodur. What a name Eh?" Lyell giggled standing up and collecting both their trays.  "I'm done might as well come with you." They walked briskly across the campus lawn their shoes crunching on the fallen leaves. "So?" Lyell asked not looking at his brother.

"So what?" Galvin said breathing deeply letting the night air slice at his throat.

"I don't think you're her type. Even if her marriage isn't a real one." Galvin shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he picked up his pace his head down not looking at his older brother. "Not too mention Mr. Lodur seems to be in love with his wife. Or at the very lest comfortable." they entered the glass doors to the front of the main building crossing the small lobby as silently as they could. "You're setting yourself up for big trouble."

"Thanks for that. Can you shut your gob now please." he nearly spat as he opened the door to the library heading towards the table they had occupied awhile earlier.  The messenger's bag was not there. "I don't see it. I must have left it down stairs." he let out a deep sigh his hands behind his neck. "You remember the way to that place?"

"Not a clue."
******************
The elevator was dimly lit even though there were two overhead lights and mirrored walls. It came to a jerking stop once they hit their stop.  "Now where to?" Galvin asked trying to remember what direction they had turned earlier when they had followed Hermia.

"Hang on. Let me try something." Lyell said taking his cell phone out of his back pocket and dialing his brother's number.  "You go that way and I'll go this. One of us will hear it in a minute." Lyell started towards the left leaving his brother to the right. Galvin stopped dead in his tracks when he turned to find a dead end. Doubling back, he followed the hallway Lyell had gone down. Galvin suddenly felt dizzy as he walked past a door. He looked up seeing a small window over it open slightly, faint light coming from the far end of it. He did not like that feeling at all, as if walking against the wind.
There was a soft noise of shuffling and things being moved around coming from the hallway a few feet to their left. The two boys had caught up to each other and were now standing in front of the History Department door, which was wide open.  Lyell put his cell phone away knocking on the open door just as they heard something fall and a male voice swearing. Riggs was standing in the middle of what was a mess of half opened crates his right hand at the back of his neck, his eyes closed.  In front of him was now a broken shelf and all it's contents sliding off.
*******************
Part 3 soon 

I scoff at your breadmaker

"He bought me a bread maker." Erin the evil one said. This was two years ago.
"He bought me a bread maker."  my friend Butterfly said last Christmas.
"He bought me a bread maker."  my friend the High Priestess said on Valentine's Day.

I scoff at your bread makers. scoff scoff scoff.  This is me scoffing at you... lazy.  This tells me a few things about your husbands,  1) they wish you cooked more  and 2) they like gadgets that are too expensive that take up too much space and are difficult to clean 

Did you see me make bread from scratch... without a bread maker? 

Sure, the bread wasn't as quickly made (it took hours to make the few loaves we did)  but damn it! I am very proud of that given it was a first try.  I do not know how my grandmother did it every week, and would make nearly 12 loaves ... every Saturday. On top of her other cooking and cleaning. But totally worth it! 

If only I had a proper camera person I would do these comedy-cooking shows all the time. And what you are thinking has me blogging about that today?  Well my little Spudguns, I'm reading the last few chapters of "My Life in France" by Julia Child and got to the chapter on .... you guessed it bread. 

My Favorite Matches Part 4

I used screen capture for this post

I have mentioned before about the Demand Events.  I get an update weekly for that and I see that Thunder Bay now has 12 people demanding a live TNA event here.
That's fabulous!  When I first signed up a year ago to that I was the only one.  I think the rule is something like 200 people before it is taken seriously.

I see someone has checked off "more TNA"  in a few of my posts reaction boxes this past week(the comment box does work now).  My sweet TNA Spudguns, I'm not ready to bring back full on wrestling reviews.  BUT however, I did make a promise  that I would get around to doing a review for the A.J. Styles vs Kurt Angle match as a "favourite match" when I had more time.   I never make promises unless I fully intend on keeping them.  So  here is that match in full review...  

 This is from the Whole F*N Show - Aug 12th 2010

A.J. Styles attacked Kurt Angle just before the bell started, getting him down on the mat with a series of stomps before, tossing Kurt to the floor.  Styles then jumped out giving Kurt another round of stomps, followed by a couple of hard fists to the side of the skull. This rocked Kurt into the rails. He then slammed Kurt face first into the ring apron before breaking the count.  Styles then strutted right into an overhead suplex on the floor.  Dude, you know that's got to hurt. Back in the ring now, and Styles delivers a knee to the guts of Kurt, but was answered by a tilt a whirl back breaker. Angle then went for a cover but only got a half count. Styles then with a double chop to the throat of Angle, pushing him into the steel post where upon Angle fell to the floor.  Styles out of nowhere with a slingshot over the top rope nailing Angle. Styles then with a knife edge chop to the upper chest/throat of Angle. Back now in the ring, and Angle gets back into the groove with a series of heavy fists to the temple of Styles, then went off the ropes but Styles leap frogged out of the way. Or so we thought, as Angle from behind with another overhead toss. Styles lands on his feet, and then delivers a double dropkick to the face.  Styles went for a cover but only got a one count. He then went right back to Angle slapping on a chin lock. Angle managed to get out of the hold, getting Styles in a take down going for his trademark ankle lock but Styles kicked him off.  Angle then picked him up for a slam. Both to their feet again, with Angle dishing out a few short clotheslines backing Styles into the corner but Styles got a boot up to the face of Angle forcing him back a step. Angle then slaps on another overhead belly to belly.  Angle went for a cover but only got a two count. This then was backed up with 3 German suplexes by Angle who then smoothly went for another cover. Still only a two count. Another attempt at the ankle lock, didn't work. Angle in the corner again, Styles charges at him but Styles ends up on the apron. He gives a cheap shot thumb to the eyes of Angle then springboards back into the ring. A flying forearm to the face of Angle lets Styles try for a cover. Only got a two count himself.  A.J. then tried for his Style's Clash, but waited just a second too long and was swiftly tossed over head again in a back body drop to land hard on his back. Styles answers with a paylay knocking Angle to the mat and going again for a cover. Once again only getting a two count. Styles to the top rope then but Angle charged at him, both missing.  Angle then to the top rope with a moonsault landing perfectly on Styles with a crossbody. Another two count but Styles kicked out. Angle then went once more for the ankle lock but Styles wormed out of it, tossing Kurt into the second turnbuckle face first.  Styles on the apron going for another springboard but was cut off in mid move, landing back on the apron. He then used a combo from the corner, springboarding/twist onto Angle, and turning into a reversed DDT. Still, Styles only got a two count. A.J. distracted for a second, and Kurt came up behind him putting him into another Angle Slam. Another two count. Styles tried for a lowblow behind the ref's back, but was caught by Angle and the ankle lock slapped on tight. Styles tapped out, giving Angle the win.

Unopened Letters To An Imaginary Husband part 9

My Dearest Love:

I hurt when you hurt, and I hate that I can make you hurt
I sing when you sing, you make me shine
And you know that behind every door is another secret room filled with flowers I've picked for you, always in bloom
All this you've said to me, my dearest love, my husband, my mate
I'm glad we are together in this lifeboat called fate
I am grateful for all the little seconds we share, elegant, foul, rough, sweet, sour and delicate
Even when we do not feel very grateful to each other, even when our mouths get us into trouble, or our egos take a tumble, or our hearts get bruised and broken,  I still thank the universe for you
I am grateful for your skin, you eyes, your smile next to me in the dark, in the glance we share across a room filled with your friends, in the mornings when we plan our day, and the afternoons when we do nothing but abuse the sofa
I am grateful for your touch, your voice, your ear, when you actually hear  what I am saying and not just listen mindlessly,
I am grateful you feel safe enough to tell me about your day, your fears, your disgust, your desires,
All this I've said in return to you, my dearest love, my husband, my mate

Love Always, Ardeth Blood


****
I've been writing these gratitude poems now for about a year and a half.  They were so easy in the beginning, but as of late I have been finding it really hard to keep up a positive feeling. I'm starting to feel fake plastic.  And I remembered why and how I started the first one.  For gratitude for what has not been giving yet, living as is, and excepting the balance of the high times and the low times that come in every relationship.  This one I wrote under 5 minutes. 

Wishcasting Wednesday- Sept 22nd

It's a Wednesday. Which means, that over on Jamie Ridler Studios,  it's Wishcasting Wednesday.  
This week's question is.... "What do you wish for an abundance of?"

That's easy.    LOVE

I wish for love.  A partner for business, a partner for friendship, a partner for life.   Pure and simple.  Lots and lots of love in all it's honest forms.
What's the point of having anything else if there is no one to share it with?  Everything materialistic comes and goes, money is just paper, things are just stuff,  but love(partnerships/friendships/lovers) is what matters. 

So I wish for an abundance of love.

photo by Me 2010 hcvp

Fussing with recipes

Mom had another doctor's appointment today, so I took with me my book for book club "My Life in France" by Julia Child.  Was reading the section on soups and fish.  She had a chapter where she was talking about fish based soups and chowders and such, and suddenly I had in mind all I wanted was a potato soup.
So, when mom was done for the day (she's got to have another surgery but more on that later)  I went to her place and took over her kitchen.   Why you ask,  cause she's got more widgets and gidgets and what nots.  Dude, I do not even have a rolling pin.  Stole mom's today too.
Anyways,  went to mom's, watched the replay of WWE's Raw while I made a potato soup-ish/chowder-ish dish.  No recipe. 
I looked online for a few recipes on the Food Network Canada, but everything I saw called for either fish stock or beef stock.  Being a vegetarian, I would have none of that. 
So brilliant me, I sliced up 3 large potatoes boiled, 1 onion, 2 cloves garlic, used a half cup butter (made from vegetable oil) cream, flour, cheese and black table pepper. 
It was good, little on the thick side so had to add more liquid, then it just was bland.  I have no idea what I could have added else as mom believes in one spice = SALT.  I was lucky to have found the onion and garlic at mom's.    
I plan on trying to see what I have here spice wise to take over there tomorrow to upbeat the leftovers. 

4 of Cups

This is a tricky card to figure sometimes.   A card of imagination/fantasy, disgust, weariness, vexation, novelty, unearthly gifts. 
Usually this design for the 4 of Cups has someone not paying any attention to what is going on around them. Its a card of depression, but not total sadness (much like the 5 of Cups) and like the 4 of Swords, it is a card of rest.
Reflection would be one way to class this card.
Relationships are tested greatly when this card pops up as cups are the suit of emotions.

I have to admit, in all the years of studying tarots, this card has been a pain in the ass for me. I've always seen it as a card of boredom and blindness.  Never too sure how to take this card. 

Lights out in the Library (short story)

Lyell stood near the back of the room, his arms crossed over his chest, his back resting against the wall. A pair of thin glasses helping to hide his blue eyes, his dark jeans just the right shade of faded at the thighs and his long sleeved shirt grey and unbuttoned at the top. He watched as his brother leaned on the desk trying to talk the new secretary into a movie or dinner.  His brother, Galvin, was trying to convince himself that his latest break up was not as bad as it really was.  Lyell knew that by this time tomorrow Galvin would be planted firmly in front of the tv in the depth of a video game marathon depression no matter what.
Lyell's attention was quickly taken by a table of college students pouring over a research paper. One girl had beads in her hair, another tattoos on her neck.  He smiled to himself thinking that nothing was taboo anymore. He secretly wished somethings still were. Galvin made his way back over to where he was standing, his own jeans making a light swishing noise as he did, his shoulders rounded.  He'd been stiffed and was not afraid to show it. Galvin was loosing faith in himself more every day.
A loud crashing sound caused both brothers to turn and look towards one of the book shelves across the room.  A woman in a knee length black sweater was bent down over a fallen pile of heavy leather bound books that were scattered at the base of the shelf.  Lyell pushed himself away from the wall and slowly made his way over to help her.

"Hi." his voice was a whisper.

"Hi. Thanks." she replied just as softly. "I'm Hermia."

"Lyell. And that's my brother Galvin." he pointed over his shoulder as Galvin started to bend down beside them. "History of Witchcraft Through the Ages. Good choice." he said handing her the large weather beaten volume.

"And it goes oh so well with..." Galvin turned over a large book himself trying to make out the faded title. "Angels and the reality of Demonology. I am sensing a theme here."

"Yeah. I work for the history department." she said her thin pale hand resting at the back of her neck. Galvin was suddenly put in mind of an old Roman Polanski film, as he stared at her short cropped hair. Both men took her in, neither finding anything of particular shine.  Her outfit was a pair of  loose black pants and a black tee shirt under her sweater. The only thing that stood out at all was the ring on her left hand, a large purple stone set in a Celtic design. "I came to get these, someone left them here. Bit heavy for me though." she blushed as she tried to gather up the large stack.

Galvin counted 8 books in all. "Is that you asking for us big strong guys to help?" he asked licking his lips.

"I wouldn't call us big." Lyell remarked making a gesture to show they were not that tall. "Strong for sure." he said taking three of the large books handing them to his brother before taking three himself. "Lead the way."
**********************

There was a stereo playing somewhere in the distance as they got off the elevator finding themselves in the basement.  Galvin looked around the corner carefully before walking slowly beside Hermia and Lyell. He felt stupid suddenly, trailing after this woman who clearly knew every corner of the building. He hadn't even been aware there had been a basement to their little university.

Lyell's back went ridged as the three of them turned the corner and entered a large room filled with what looked like endless rows of more bookshelves. Two desks sat patiently near the front of the room, flowing with files, and a laptop each.  The stereo was perched on a chair near the desk on the left.  The desk that was occupied by a very large looking man.  Hermia pointed to the other desk as she placed her two books down on it's surface, gesturing for them to do the same before turning towards the man. He was dressed in a faded orange cable knit sweater and jeans, his short red hair a firery mess.
"This is Riggs. He's the other half of this place." her voice was a normal tone letting them know they conducted their 'library' without rules.

"Pleased to meet ya." he said in an accent of thick Irish.
Galvin would later argue with his brother about the legitimacy of the accent. Lyell noticed a talisman of the same design with a darker stone around the neck of Riggs, on a leather cord. He wondered if he should ask about it or leave it.  Before he could, Riggs turned off the stereo. "That shipment of statues from Professor Greyton came while you were out. I haven't opened it yet."

"Lovely. That should have been here three days ago. Must have been that slow boat from China."  she remarked opening a small drawer in Riggs' desk getting a hammer. Lyell and Galvin both laughed at the old joke.

"No, she means it.  We really did have it shipped from a small port in China.  Cheaper then airmail." Riggs nodded smiling. Lyell gave a short giggle blushing feeling suddenly out of place. "Here doll let me do that." Riggs said moving towards the crate.

"No, I'll open you get the gloves and unpack it. Would you two mind helping him." She shook her head not even looking at any of them. "I can't touch what's inside."

"Why not? You afraid to get dirty?" Galvin asked a seductive smirk on his face. There was a sick popping sound as the top nails were removed from the create, letting the side fall to the floor exposing the contents.  Whatever it was, it was wrapped in what looked like ten layers of bubble wrap and foam packing. Riggs moved towards it now with a pair of latex gloves carefully removing it from the box before placing it on the floor unwrapping it.  Both Lyell and Galvin moved closer to see what all the fuss was about, while Hermia handed them each a set of gloves then moved as far from them all as possible. The statue was about a foot tall, made of dark wood, with hoofed feet, a long tongue hanging out of his open mouth, wide eyes that were set with Jade pieces, curved horns that pointed upwards, and it's hands reaching as if grabbing.

"Ugh! It's very male." Lyell remarked, as he noticed the statue's genitals.

"That's because it's a fertility statue. An extremely potent one.  And why I am not getting anywhere near it. Ever." Hermia said with what sounded like fear in her voice.

"You're scared of a bit of ... wood?" Galvin asked unable to resist the joke.

"Normally, no. But this one, you tell them Riggs cause I know they won't believe me."

"The last time this thing was unearthed in the early 1920's, it was kept in a temple near Cairo. There were 20 members of that dig, seven of which were women. All seven were pregnant shortly there after, all gave birth within a few days of each other. None were pregnant before the dig." Riggs said sniffing.

"I thought you said this was sent from China?" Lyell replied.

"It was. It's been sitting in another room like this one for decades. They move it around every so often."

"But the real question is what was it doing in Cairo to begin with as it's a Celtic design." Hermia butted in from a good twenty feet away. 

**************
Part 2 soon

Sunday Sept 19th 2010

"Hey we're at blockbuster and the Boy wants to rent the Vampiro documentary.  You have that one right?" Ninja asked on the phone bit ago referring to J.'s oldest son.

"Yeah."

"So I don't have to waste money renting it, I can just come steal yours?"

"Suppose."

Ninja started laughing, and I asked what was funny.  "The Boy wants to know if you have any other wrestling movies."

"That's a trick question right? JCW Slam Tv, Best of XDivision 2, Best of MMG/BMI, Wrestlemaniac and The Wrestler. Which does he want to borrow?"

"He wants to know if he can borrow the one with...what they called?  Beer Money he says."

"Yeah. It goes nowhere other then your place. If he does not finish watching it tonight, it does not under any reasons be allowed to be taken to his mom's, he does not lend it out to a buddy. Anything happens to it and he's buying me a new one."

"Yes I know. Did mom tell you what J. did?"  Ninja's voice took on a tone of utter disgust. "He left the apartment in his pajama bottoms, remembered to grab his cell phone, got out to the truck without keys and had locked himself out of the building. I am starting to wonder what I see in him."

"You can't help who you fall in love with, it just happens." deep sigh from me and a slight start of mad laughter.

"Yeah. God sometimes though, I swear he would forget his head if it wasn't attached to his neck. So anyway... hang on... you only have a PS2 right?"

"Yeah why?"

"The Boy wants to know what games you have?"

"Buffy game and a couple of wrestling ones."

"There's a shock. Hang on...You have the new one?"  my sister yawning now.

"Last one I got was the 2009 one.  I've got the TNA one though from 2008."

"Can he borrow them both?"

"Suppose. I didn't know he was a wrestling fan. Thought it was just hockey?"

"Football. The younger one likes hockey."

"Whatever. They're not my kids."  me digging through a box of dvds looking for the Vampiro, dropping movies on my foot.

"Yeah, he likes that one you don't." she yawned again.

"That narrows it down. Can you vague that up for me. Found it."

"That Hardy guy...hang on... Jeff Hardy The Boy says. Yeah my sister doesn't like him, she likes that MotorGuns guy... that Shelley guy, hang on...." she started laughing again.  "He says to tell you Alex Shelley sucks." sister laughing still.  Me rolling my eyes.

"I the only one who does not think that? And you've said that more then once in the last year."

"Pretty much. He's a dick. Can't understand why you still like him. " more yawning from my sister.

"Didn't we have this conversation already?" dropping another movie on my foot.

"You found the games yet or will you still be hunting when we get there?" yet another yawn.

 "He's a sweetheart to everyone else; only a dick to me."

" What?"

"Nothing. I just..hanging myself in the oven. When you coming to get them?"

"J. still hasn't found a movie himself yet, so I don't know, maybe twenty minutes."

"Yeah I know where the box of games are. Buried under another box of stuff in the corner of the living room. So yeah. "

"Okay see you in a bit."  

Pride and Sensibility

So I am thinking.  ....that I need to clean my laptop's keyboard as there are coffee stains on it....  seriously, or as serious as I ever get anymore, about how far we have come in the last 200 years.  My conclusion, not far at all.  Sure, we have electricity now which powers everything we do.  We are more the Matrix then any of us want to admit to.  Admit it you want to.
But at the same time, we are still living on the edge of the Regency era that my beloved Jane Austen lived in and wrote about.
Why do you think her novels have stayed the test of time?  Why is there so many film and tv adaptions of her works, of which there were only 6 published, or why so many people have joined the revolution that is Austen sequels?

Because like Mary Shelley who wrote Frankenstein,  Jane Austen's work is modern and timeless.  Maybe even more so in the age of the Celebrity A-List (and B-List, and C-List, and D-List and you get the idea)

In Austen's day, a woman could not make a living unless she was completely poor and then had two main options, A) governess or B) cook
The ideal was to marry rich.
For a man who was born first in the family, it was smooth sailing all the way.  A second son was usually given a choice of being a lawyer or a minister. Extremely lucky if there was a rich aunt and uncle to send him to live with in place of their not having a son. A guy born third or lower in the family usually turned to the military/navy.   And if they could marry a rich wife, even better.

Have we come any farther really?
It's sad to think that in 200 years we are still picking our mates by what they think we can offer them in the form of security.
Half the planet still partakes in arranged marriages.  My dad's parents were an arranged marriage and I think the worst idea ever.  Whomever my soulmate is, he must be satisfied with the fact a Canadian writer, makes little to nothing, and that my disability holds me in my choices career wise.

I'm a hopeless romantic, and I can truly say boys, the size of your bank account does not impress me. The size of your dick does. (Holy Anne Rice Novels Batman she's at it again)

Next book for review

This came yesterday.
Desiree The Bestselling Story of Napoleon's First Love by Annemarie Selinko

I have a stack that never seems to end of books for review. This one has an October release here in Canada and the U.S.

If you want to head over to my book blog you can read the review I finished the other day for You Comma Idiot which by the by was a fabulous book. I loved it, brings new ideas about the idea of what's being classed as "guy-lit".

A little Austen is better then none

These have been popping up all over the place lately. Whomever made this one did a fairly spiffy job. I saw this and even though the song is cheesy- we love it we all dance to it at parties/bars and someone always sings it at Karaoke- the videos even cheesier, but set to the Regency period movies, it's not half as pizza worthy.
I'll have a deep dish Captain Wentworth please.

Who's heart did you break today?

I hadn't heard from my buddy Patrick in a while, which is odd.  But I know when my male friends start dating someone new they back off. I got an email from him last night and we caught up a bit.  Seems he was sort of ending something not starting it with this one chick.  Uhmm... okay.

That got us on the topic of having a broken heart.  We've both had our share of having our hearts ripped out and mashed up under someone's boot only to be feed back to us.  Nice image Eh? I wonder what it's like to have that kind of power over someone?  Huh yeah I'm morbid and why I write romantic fiction. I get to play out all sides of the story that way.  But in real life,  dude, I'm always the one who is left a puddle on the floor for months afterwards.
I asked him what it was like to break someone's heart.  He laughed and said he had no idea.  Where I come from, all men have broken someone's heart, ripped it to tiny pieces, so I told him I didn't believe him. We argued.  Then he turned it around on me and asked me the same thing.

"Um dude, I have no idea.  It's like not humanly possible for me to break someone's heart.  Never happened unless you count my novels of course."
 
He laughed at me. "Yes you have. You've broken someone's heart."  Here's me clueless and asking him to tell me when how and who? "You broke the heart of your wrestlers when you stopped writing, of your readers."   Oh now he's a comedian we should give him his own comedy network  I told him that was my gimmick and to get his own.

But now I am wondering about stuff. Cause that's what I do. How do you know if you've broken someone's heart if they are not in your life anymore?  We've all been there.  The big bad breakup, the job loss. Just because it's not a physical daily thing in our lives anymore, doesn't mean we loose sight of the emotional end of it. 
 

{insert scene from Hard Core Logo here where Joe Dick is fighting Billy Tallent}

I wanted to make my point with a clip from Hard Core Logo  but the scene was way too long so I didn't.
Then I was going to smoothly switch gears and talk about the new Bruce McDonald film Trigger which I am dying to see.  A female version sort of of HCL.  Big rumours (not so much rumours as I read it on an interview Bruce McDonald did few months ago) that part 2 of HCL is due next year and there might be a part 3.   Let me say this,  Bruce McDonald is a god.  No one does rock n roll movies or videos for that matter in Canada like he does.  None.  He's the man.

Oh hell... lets add it anyway.  I found this clip on youtube

Damn it I missed the sweat lodge

I mentioned last week that I had a chance to go to a group where an Ojibwe Shaman (I still haven't figured out the right spelling for Ojibwe...Ojibeway...Ojibway?)  was part of a seminar.  He had talked at that point about being in town to do sweat lodges. 
I was not able to chat with him before the end of the seminar,  I was catching a lift home and had to leave when they did.  Seems, a few people who got to stick around to chat were able to set up chances to be part of this ceremony. 

Damn it, I always miss out on the important stuff.

I was asked to share

my Break Through story;  by Eric Shay,  one of the guys who was brave enough to be in the movie.  Only, I'm not sure where to start. 
If you have been reading me over the course of the last few years,  and I know there are a few who have followed from one blog to the other (thank you for your patience, and if you happen to catch this post; normal doesn't really exist) then you figured out the last blog was me dealing with my past relationships- and you most likely figured it out long before I wised up to the fact- then you also know this blog has somehow become me dealing with the core issues, again most likely before I even wised up to it.

I recommend this movie Break Through  no matter who you are, you will find a piece of yourself in it, for better or worse. 

One of the things the movie has to say, is that when you fear failure you seek success, when you fear being invisible you seek attention. 
Maybe I do not fear failure but I do very much fear being invisible.  Being forgotten, being left behind. Being unloved. 
My biggest fear.  Being unloved.  And I know full well where that comes from.  From a lifetime of being flat out told I was not good enough. From having a disability that left me out of things my friends and family were able to do (parties, dance lessons, hockey, skating, etc)
This is not the only "break through"  I have had in the last few months.  Not by a long shot. There were four main personality types drawn out in this film, and I identified with all of them.  Yeah, I've got a lot to work through still.

My novel has become the playground for a lot of these issues, other then this here bloggy-blog.

They say you send out what you want the most.  You project onto others your biggest fears and desires. Oh hell yeah I've done that, a lot. Always towards men.  Always.  That's because once again, my core issues have to do with the men in my family. Of which, most I have spilled already on the blogs.  The oddity, I don't really know how to communicate properly with men.  Not much of a shocker there is it. I react without thinking.  I'm a total Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility.  I give all of me, to them and then don't understand why they don't return the favour.

This was suppose to be my post about my "break through"  and yet I feel another weeping woman moment coming on... of which I have many.  My sister told me I need to have a tougher skin when it comes to people's comments.  Totally true, totally true. 
I learned recently, and not from the movie but from... well you know who.... that if I am going to dish it I have to be able to take it.  So far I haven't been able to.  I got overly childish when it was dished back at me.
Well, I suppose it is still part of the break through moment, as if I want to be "seen" by men, then when I am, good or bad, I need to be able to accept what they see in me. 

Follow.

And what he saw in me wasn't what I was hoping.  I have never made a bigger shithead out of myself with anyone, but here's me hitting the rewind button... I can not seem to say the right thing when it comes to him.

As for my break through moment, this might not be totally what Eric, Jaimes and Michal are looking for but it's where I am right now.
Admitting my biggest fault, biggest fear, and ironically feeling like a failure.  Jaimes had us stand up at one point and talk about self sabotage, and when it was my turn, I froze.  I knew full well what my issues are and yet, I ended up stammering and blushing unable to do anything but look at the rug.

How to wrap this up... messily would be the answer, with duct tape and butcher paper. 

I can not communicate proper with men, yet I seek their attention. Then freak out when I actually get it. 

Mad as Hell Part 2 (the ending)

This is the end of my short story Mad as Hell.  You can read the first part here 



Caleb took his seat with a large plastic cup of beer.  He was in awe of the ability these things had to get normal thinking mortals to spend nearly five bucks just on a watered down oversized drink.  Greg had chosen smartly with a large cup of coffee instead.  Greg was driving and really had no chance tonight for drinking. 

The two men were seated in the second row of the section behind a group of college students, their noisy cheers and foul mouthed boos had more entertainment value for Caleb then the actual hockey game that night.  That was until Greg elbowed him in the ribs after the first hour.  The dark haired male turned to see what was so interesting, only to find Estelle sitting two rows away to their left, and she was not alone. Hayden was with her. 


"What you want me to do about it?" he said turning his eyes down to examine the chocolate bar wrappers under his shoe.  


"How about you get off your ass and talk to her. You know you want to." Greg said leaning towards his friend. Caleb just shook his head his teeth clenched.  "If you don't then I am and she's looking good tonight. That top is giving me ideas." he giggled 


"Have her, I don't care." he gazed over at her, making a noise. "She looks cold." 


"Got my blood boiling." he blushed slightly as he stared at his friend's former girl. "That's a shag me top if ever I saw one."  Caleb looked over first at Estelle then back to Greg a slight ridge at his eyebrows.  "What?" Greg shrugged bringing his hands up to gesture at his chest "She leans over any and she'll fall right out of that thing.  I can't believe you gave that up. Dude ... oh hang on I see boob."  Caleb turned again to see what his friend was suggesting only to find the redhead bending down to get something out of her purse. "I wonder if she needs a ride home. Should I ask?" he raised an eyebrow at Caleb waiting for some sort of response. "Okay I'm going to ask if she's needing a lift home or what." he stood climbing over his friend nearly tripping.  Caleb watched from his seat with one eye hoping partly that she said no and hoping partly that she said yes.  Either way, he hated the idea of her being there with Hayden. 

Greg stood there chatting with her for a few minutes, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his hoodie, smiling and blushing in a way only Greg could.  Women loved it. It didn't seem to matter how geeky Greg truly was he scored every time without effort. He returned to his seat just as one of the college students in front of them leaned over puking.  Half the section jumped up heading for higher ground. 
   **************

They stood outside of the arena, the parking lot getting crowded as they waited. Estelle had agreed to a lift home with them, as Hayden lived on the opposite side of town. Caleb wasn't sure if he should hug Greg or kill him. 
It had been a silently painful  last two weeks not talking to Estelle, not seeing her but he'd be damned if he were to be the first to bend. He had his pride. What was left of it anyway.  He felt a knot tighten in his stomach as Estelle stood for a moment talking to Hayden, her hand on his arm. The guy was much taller then her, close to 6'feet with a hawk nose. Estelle was the same height as both Caleb and Greg, a mire 5'7. It was something he always liked about her, always made him feel they were on equal terms in his mind. So often women made Caleb feel he wasn't enough, not tall enough, not grown up enough, but Estelle had always made him feel perfect.  Till this happened. 
The wind was starting to pick up a bit as she walked over to them finally, her purse on her shoulder causing her shirt to stretch a little across her chest.  Caleb let out a small sigh as he noticed the blush on Greg's face again. He did not want to know what his friend was thinking but he was sure it was the same thoughts he was having himself. Caleb said nothing as he got into the car not waiting for anything other then the door to be unlocked.  

The smell of her perfume invaded his senses, twirling itself around his mind and forcing memories to flash behind his eyes. He gave a slight smirk as he watched Greg fidget with the rear view mirror.  'God', he thought to himself, 'he's really going to make a move on her'.  Caleb ran his tongue over his teeth in near frustration. They pulled out of the parking lot and made a right heading down Victoria. They would be at Estelle's in only a few minutes then he could relax. Greg got to the lights and hit the turn signal. 


"I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving. I need food." he said not taking his eyes off the road as he continued on an extra few blocks to the nearest sandwich place. "Anyone want?" he asked.  Both Caleb and Estelle said no as he got out of the car.  Estelle waited only a few seconds before she got out of the car and opened the front door.  Caleb found her leaning in over him, her hands on his knees. 


"You know full well he is doing this to get us to talk. So, can we just skip the crap and make up?" her voice never rose above a whisper.  Caleb turned from her, his jaw hurting he was grinding his teeth so much. It was all he could do to keep his hands to himself, and he was not sure if he wanted to slap her or pull her into his lap. 


"You should have heard what he was saying about you few hours ago." he shook his head unable to look at her. "He's not doing this to get us back together. He wants you himself. Always has."
Estelle bent her neck slightly so that her hair was brushing against Caleb's chest.  


"God you are exasperating do you know that? First you think I'm cheating on you with Hayden, then you think Greg is after me..."


"He is. Ask him." he spat the words at her like tasting something bad, his eyes squinting.


"What is your deal? Huh? You are the only guy I'm sleeping with. Or was or whatever.  I don't want anyone but you. Just you." she replied her hands slapping his knees as she moved from the car slamming the door.  Reaching into the back seat again, she grabbed her purse and slammed that door too walking away. 


*******************
It was just after 1:00am.  Caleb found himself unable to sleep and flipping channels.  There was movie that looked familiar in a chick-flick sort of way.  A woman in a long dress reading a letter.   The letter was from her lover begging her to take him back.  He cringed as he sat back on the sofa flipping channels again.  Thirty seconds later he was back on the channel with the chick movie. The woman was running now down the street the letter in hand, looking for the lover who wrote it.  They find each other on the corner and embrace just as the credits rolled.  Caleb let out a deep sigh his eyes unable to look away. It was worse then a car crash, this thing. There was a hostess yammering on about it being based on a book or something.  He got up moving towards the kitchen for a cup of tea and a bag of chips, before returning to the sofa. The next movie started and he realized it was a Jane Austen marathon. 
"Peachy. Just peachy. Nothing on but weeping women." he was about to turn it off when the opening credits faded out to a sword fight. "Oh that's interesting." he mumbled around a mouthful of chips. Before he knew it, it was 3:13am and the movie was over, the dark haired man had long since stretched out on the sofa hugging a pillow. 
His strong pale hand reaching over the edge of the table for his cell phone, hitting speed dial.  A sleepy voice picked up on the second ring. "What'cha doing?" he yawned loudly into the small phone.

"I had been sleeping like any normal person. Yourself?" Estelle asked.  He could hear her moving in the bed, getting into a sitting position. He knew if he kept her on the phone for even another two minutes she would be wide awake and in the kitchen making coffee. 


"You sleeping alone?" he rolled his eyes to the ceiling sniffing.  He heard her mumble a yes. "I was watching Northanger Abby. It wasn't that bad actually. Surprised it was fairly cool."


"You were watching a Jane Austen movie? You?" she was moving around the apartment now fully awake, her breathing heavy still as she did. "You?" she said once more unable to pretend not to be shocked. 


"Me. So you alone then?" he asked his own dark eyes closing with sleep.  


"Yes. No need to ask if you are alone. Did you want something?" she was filling the kettle with water, Caleb could hear the taps in the kitchen. He shook his head no before he remembered to speak. His arm crossed over his chest.


"Just maybe I wanted to say good night."  he opened his eyes with a jolt looking at the time.  3:25am. "Just maybe I thought you would want to grab a cab and rush over here so we could wake up together. Given that we are both alone right now. You know if you wanted."  he started to snuggle towards the back of the sofa with the phone barely resting at his ear. He could hear her breathing. Thinking it over. The sound of her stirring her coffee rattled him awake again. "Estelle?" 


"Caleb." she answered slurping her coffee in the phone letting him know she was in no hurry. 


"Are you coming over?" his breath hushed out as he fought another yawn. "Are you coming over?" 


"It's 3:30 in the morning." 


"That's never stopped either of us before."  He faintly heard her moving back towards her bedroom, the sound of it creaking as she sat back down on it, the image of her placing her coffee cup down on the bedside table, the thin black laced slip she wore around the house filled his once again closed eyes. He never heard her hang up her end of the conversation, the empty line buzzing a white noise in his ear as he started to dream. 

The doorbell woke him at 3:52 am.  The dark haired male blinked for a moment staring at the cell phone still clutched in his hand then turned it off as he got up walking to answer the door.  Estelle was standing there in a dark sweater and jeans, her hair hidden under the sweater's hood. She said nothing as she locked the door behind her, taking off her shoes and heading to Caleb's bedroom. Caleb followed silently. 




                    ********************
                          The End

Wishcasting Wednesday -Sept 15th 2010

Jamie Ridler Studios once again seems to know what to be asking right when I need it. Today's question is "How do you wish to come out of your shell?"

Had you asked me that few years ago, I would have said I wasn't in one. But, the last night's Break Through seminar proved I am. I had ended up sitting at the back of the room against the wall cause that's where I have always felt comfortable. In the shadows away from eyes. At one point I needed to stand up to say something and I my dear Spudguns, verbally stumbled like a dweeb. I, who have very loudly on this blog screamed at international wrestling superstars, who has hosted a local tv show a million years ago, who has sung to a packed bar, who has done countless poetry readings to packed bars... I stammered when a few people quietly listened. (see brave Eh? when people are not paying attention or I'm behind electronics)

So how do I wish to come out of my shell... I'd love to do stand up comedy. Just once. Or get back to being a news reporter/interviewer for video where I have to think on my feet.
All honesty that's the best I can think of this week.

Break Through night 2

Okay I need to share my night with you -my lovely Spudguns.
Though, I am not allowed to give details,  I can share my photos of us hanging out and just being. Dude, I am still buzzed from the energy. I may not sleep tonight. 

Here's me with Jaimes. He lights up a room when he walks in.   He's one of the producers of the documentary.

 Micheal the other half of this wonderful partnership.  I think this was the only time I was not hugging him too.

 Here's Micheal, Maggie and Jaimes.  My aunt Maggie heard about the film Break Through a few months ago.

 Part of the actual work group.

Me and Penny. She's a total sweetheart.
I know I know, I was laughing and I look like ... something the crypt keeper stepped on, but I was having a blast so I posted the photo anyway.

Novel ideas

1)  I took my sister's advice and changed the title of my novel.

2) I was offered to have a local graphic designer do my cover art.  His stuff is brilliant, hope I can afford his work.

3) Working on part 2 of the short I have on here  "Mad as Hell"  which I hope to have done by the weekend.

4) Reading "You Comma Idiot"  for review.

5) Entering daily contests on the all Jane Austen website    AustenAuthors.com

Break Through night 1

Tonight was the first of two nights that the producers of Break Through the documentary are here.  They had a showing and meet and greet.

It turned into a impromptu workshop, which was not scheduled till tomorrow night.
The energy in the whole room was amazing!  Micheal and Jaimes are just the sweetest guys around.

At one point I had to get to the bathroom, and okay seriously,  why did no one tell me I looked like a pink raccoon all night?  That's what I get for matching my make-up with my shirt.  Oh my god dude, I guess you can take the ghoul out of the ICP make-up but you can't get the ICP make-up off the ghoul... here's me changed and minus a half pound of eye make-up.  This stuff stains a bit, I'll be pink raccoon for most the next few days now.  Well, I don't call myself the Zomberazzi  for nothing.

Change it and shut up

"You need to find a shorter title"  Ninja told me on the phone.  "That's just too long a title. No one will buy a novel called that." 
We were talking about nothing particular then she asked me about the book I am reading, told her what I thought so far, then off we went about my novel for a few.
I have been thinking about changing my title just not sure to what yet.  Mind you I am still on draft 5.  I'm getting there, I'm getting there.
 
I have no idea what to call it.

Ninja continued, and I might say this was one of the longest chats her and I have had in a long while. It was nice.  But she continued... "you don't want to be locked in with the other 'local authors' right off it will put a bad taste in the mouths of people at the book store.  Don't rush it, work on it till it's fabulous. Make sure it's something that I can be proud to say I'm related to understand."  she was dead serious.

"Hey if Blah Blah can have two books and So-InSo can have one as well, dude I'm so going to kick their asses with my novel when it comes out."

"Yeah." Ninja said laughing at me. "Right on. I have no idea how Blah Blah managed to get a second book no one liked the first one."

"I'm not just being egotistical either."
 
"I know you will kick their asses, it's not that hard to do. Both their books were crap. I won't let you put out crap! I will not be known as the sister of the crap writer! You better believe when you get it done it's going to kick their asses." She continued to laugh.

"Yeah! Like a double frogsplash followed by a wicked DDT, and topped off with...you still there?"

"What?"

"You stopped laughing thought you hung up on me."

"You're doing it again. Stop it, I don't care about the wrestling. You know what,  just go back to it and stop talking to me about it. I don't like wrestling, I have never liked wrestling. I'm sick of hearing about it.  Go back to pretending to be Bobby Heenan or whoever it is your trying to be. I always thought that Shelley guy was a dick anyway; never understood what you see in a guy like that." Ninja was starting to yell slightly at me, never a good thing.

"Have you seen him wrestle? He's a genius in the ring." I ended up spilling coffee on myself and the counter, I was thinking I  had made a lovely Heel.

"Nope and don't plan to. You are going to have a lot of reviews when the time comes and if you can't handle one comment now; how do you expect to handle them when you get published? You need a thicker skin."

"Look who's talking."

"I'm not the writer, you are. You really need to find another title though. It's just too long. Okay, I have to do my hair still. Need to get a few things done while J. is out with the kids. Talk to you later... and change the title of your novel cause right now it sucks."

   

Extra Book Club Selection

A Little More Than Perfect My Life with and in spite of Osteogenesis Imperfecta  by Heather Anderson


This is an unofficial book club selection, as my sister gave me this book and she is ironically not joining book club.  I say ironically because she's shared a ton of books with me over the last few years (she worked at Chapters Books for over 6 years) but has no time with her schedule now.

Anyways,  I am interested in this book for a few reasons,   1) the lady has O.I. and 2) she's from the same city as me.

Dude!  We (my sister and I) had no idea that anyone outside of our own family here in the area had the same thing as us. 
Ninja read this last week and passing the book on to me. It's a 166pages.  I think I can have it paired off by tonight. 

And this sums it all up

Found this classic episode of Sex and the City  called Vogue Idea,  where Carrie's drunk on her first day at Vogue after her editor slams her. 
Been there, done that... well not at Vogue but you understand what I mean.
Another one of the classic SATC outfits that I love too.   So, anyways, I was bravely continuing my vampire movie hunt online after the hidden porn issue and stumbled across the trailer for SATC2 and that got me thinking of the show in general. 
So I turned my youtube hunt to SATC... I need a cocktail. 

Oh my god hidden porn

A reason why I do not like the whole goth scene.   You go googling things and you never know when you are going to get a bad link or something that gets past the pop up blocker.  
Dude, I hate that, I really do. 
Googling vampire films, and suddenly I hear this noise,  I am looking all over the damned screen thinking it's an ad but can not find the source,  it continues I close my browser window and "HOLY SH*T! It's a hidden porn site window"   Dude NOT cool.  NOT cool at all.

I do not have an issue with porn.   I DO have an issue with hidden links and tricky pop up windows. 
That's just not right. 

Dear Blog

Remember how I said my soulmate won't be coming into my life till after I've made my spiritual journey or at lest started it... well Blog I think I might be another step closer.

I was invited last night to a group that can for a lack of a better term be classed as a spiritual new age group.  I will leave the details to that.
But my dear Spudguns,  I will tell you this,  I was in a room with not 1, not 2, not 3 but 4 spiritual mentors. 

*High Priestess of the Alexandrian/Gardnerian Wicca tradition
*A Meditation Teacher
*An Ojibeway Shaman
*A Medium

Add in there was a Herbalist and a Reiki student and I was floating on questions.   The Herbalist and the Reiki student were not there to teach, but to just be part of the group. 

photo by ME hcvp 2010

Scratch scratch

While at mom's last night, my sister stopped in after work to see how mom was doing. 
She was sitting a few feet from me and suddenly started to scratch madly at her right arm.  I laughed.

"J. is thinking of you." I said to her.  Ninja scrunched up her nose at me like I had grown wings or something.  "Right side of your body is itching, means your true love is...."  her cell phone started to ring.  My sister's mouth dropped open as it was indeed her boyfriend and the first thing out of his mouth was that he'd been thinking of her, wondering if she'd been caught in the rain storm that had started as she had to bus home from work. 

Mom stared at me for about 30 seconds in total disbelief then my sister started to blush.   

photo by ME 2010 hcvp

11:17pm-Wed Sept 8th

Mom's surgery went well.
She was last on the list today so we were most of the day at the hospital.  The doctor said she's not allowed to lift anything or bend too far, so I ended up staying here tonight.
She's doing great actually, I've been waiting all night to get the computer.  I should have brought my laptop but sadly did not.

I do have other topics I wanted to blog about, but tired very very tired.  Just wanted to post a small note for anyone who had seen my other post about mom's surgery. 

Wishcasting Wednesday- Sept 8th

It's Wednesday, and that means on Jamie Ridler Studios it's Wishcasting Wednesday.  This week's question is "What do you Wish for Less of?"

That would be less confusion.

I've been in an almost constant state of feeling like walking chaos for the last year. Time to move on from it. 

(I really felt a photo was needed, and the one from few months ago when I made poached eggs for the first time seemed fitting to represent chaos)

New Moon

It's 8:54 am.
Mom goes in this morning for day surgery on her eyes. Not sure if I will have to stay with her for a few days or not. She's been having a hard time seeing for months now, everything is a pinpoint of blurry light. I find it fitting that they booked her today, which happens to be the New Moon.
New moons are about fresh starts and new beginnings.

This is beginning of the Waxing Moon. Waxing Moon is from the New Moon through the First Quarter Moon to the Full Moon. Waxing moon is when you should do rituals for healing, positivity, growth of any kind, good luck, love, sexual desires and wealth.

The moon right now is in Virgo for the next 2 days. This is a time to do rituals for employment, intellectual matters, health and diet. And for healing of the intestines or nervous systems. The colours connected to it are navy blue, rust-orange. The metal mercury and gnomes.

Wednesdays are ruled by the planet Mercury and the day of the week to do rituals connected to communications, divination, writing, knowledge, and all business transactions. The colours connected to it are yellow, grey, violet, and all opalescent hues. Incense include jasmine, lavender and sweetpea.

*note* I had the wrong zodiac for the moon today originally listed. I had Scorpio instead of Virgo cause I am so damned cool. Sorry folks. Fixed now

Mail bag

I got another book in the mail today from a new publisher.  GooseLane.
The novel is You Comma Idiot and it's by Doug Harris.

I am thinking it's a good thing my book club is dead in the water right now, as I have a stack - and more on the way- of books that are large volumes that all have a deadline between next week (this one actually) and November 18th. 

I usually like to do the book reviews in order that I receive them, but this might make me jumble up the selection. 

For anyone who has not been to my book blog Pencil-Pushers and Ink-Splotches please feel free to do so.  I have a few interviews on there that I did recently. That blog has it's own email too for review work.

Giving some Linkagelove

I love my friends.  Both internet and real life.   And I just want to point a few of you to my buddy Gerry's blog mycoffeepot.org

It's a personal blog that he does mostly by photos of his life in Toronto and Montreal.  He recently had some music added to a indie horror film. 

Hold the Line and take the plates to the kitchen

"Hold the Line/ Love isn't always on Time"  - Toto.   

You are wondering why I am quoting an old song from 30 years ago, it plays a big role in the rest of the story.

I had my chart done the other week, and was amazed at what she told me. One thing was that I have been standing in my own way and that way is now clear.  She then went on to tell me I would meet "my twin soul"  in a restaurant.  Right, I've been saying for awhile that food will lead to my finding a husband, so isn't a little ironic a woman who only had my birthdate said this to me?
So for the past week every day I've dragged myself for a walk to the grocery. There is a pizza place, two burger joints, a Chinese place and donut shop all next door to the grocery. Who knows right.
Anyways, the song "Hold the Line"  by Toto has been playing every day I've dragged myself to the grocery.  At first I was thinking it was time for them to get a new cd for their stereo, but ends up it was the radio. 
I did not meet anyone new.

So yesterday,  the Wellness Center was hosting a showing of the dvd "The Science of Miracles" by Gregg Braden. The Wellness Center is on the 3rd floor of one of the city's hotels. There was to be coffee and dessert after the movie during discussion time. Helen and Barbra were setting up and needed plates from the restaurant downstairs.  I went down to help get them. 
I saw the new sous-chef come out of the back to talk to the bartender as we were going back upstairs.

Movie was fabulous by the way, I highly recommend you see it if you have not. It blends science with the progression of spiritual prayer.

Anyways, back to the story.   After wards we were cleaning up and Helen told me to take the stack of now dirty dishes to the restaurant while herself and Barbra put all the chairs away. I did. And stood there waiting for nearly 10 minutes like a hoser because there was no one working the dinning room, and only two nearly drunk guys sitting watching a game at the bar.  Ready to just leave the stack of dirty plates on the bar a commercial came on the television with the Toto song just as the door to the kitchen swung open.  It was the new sous-chef.  Nice. I handed him the plates and went out to meet up with Helen in the lobby.  The sous-chef came out to the hotel desk while I was waiting, looked at me over his shoulder a few times then went back into the kitchen. 
Helen gets there and we go to leave.  We are not out of the parking lot when she remembers she had left something back inside.
I'm sitting in the car sweating at this point waiting for her to get back. Another car has pulled up at the lights beside where we're parked their windows down blasting music.  Again the Toto song.  Okay my attention is fully engaged now. Helen comes back in and tells me they couldn't find what she had gone back in for,  her and Sous-Chef who's name she got by the by.  She had him helping her look for her missing item.

No the Sous-Chef is not my ONE.  I know that. But, it's an ironic set of events that just proves you never know.  But since I will be spending more time in the coming months at the Wellness Center, who knows he might make for an interesting distraction while I wait for my soulmate...